Surviving Infidelity - 3 Steps To Eliminate Negative Thoughts
Posted: Friday, March 04, 2011
by Reggie Dunn
As expected, many people who find out that their spouse has committed infidelity feel as if their thoughts are completely out of control
Being struck with this major emotional situation is in all likelihood making you feel like your going insane. Your completely consumed right now with negative thoughts, leaving you both miserable and exhausted.
Here are some ways to help you deal with these thought patterns:
Step 1 : Its Your Mind - Take Back Control
Many people feel helpless in stopping these negative thoughts because they simply feel there is nothing they can do about it and have no control to actually stop it. Now is the time to take back ownership of your mind. Its yours and you need to tell yourself that your the boss and your in control of what goes on up in that head of yours. Write it on a piece of paper, yell it out loud, do whatever it takes until you yourself believe it and voluntarily take back control.
Step 2 : Take An Inventory On Those Reoccurring Thoughts
You keep having repeated negative images and thoughts, but what do they consist of, specifically? Identify the one's that keep playing over and over? Jot them down and do a self analysis. When you see them spelled out in front of your eyes, they will begin to lose their grip and power over you. Try it out, seriously!
Step 3: Eliminating Negative Thought Patterns
Now that you have picked out specific themes, it’s time to do away with them! What you need to do now is come up with ways to banish them. Everyone will have their own ideas, but try to identify the specific facts surrounding the topic of the negative emotions and then change the meaning attached to them.
As an example, if you drive to work in the morning and have the radio on and realize that your mind is wandering to thoughts of the infidelity, change the scenery. Turn on a different station or throw in a different CD, turn it up and sing out loud. Or use the ride to focus on something else, like planning the rest of your day. Do whatever you need to do to distract yourself from thoughts about the infidelity, and make that time associated with something other than those negative thoughts.
You may feel out of control when it comes to surviving the infidelity, but you can get back ownership of your thought patterns and where they lead you. Now it won't happen overnight, but in time your thoughts can and will change for the positive.
For more help on dealing with infidelity, you can visit our surviving infidelity forums at http://survivinginfidelityforums.com/. It is a brand new forum offering support for sufferers of the pain of infidelity.
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